Archive | 8:59 pm

Ich Bin Ein “Travel” Journalist! Berlin is an Uber-must

20 May

Welcome back once again loyal readers! Hello also to those people who’ve inexplicably managed to navigate here despite not being my Facebook friend.

Unfortunately my bank balance and Mayan calendar still tells me it’s “toiling season” and I must stick around London and work.

Pictographs of Chuck Norris have been found in the ruins of all major ancient civilisations.

Therefore once again we go back in time to when I was in another place. This time it’s Berlin.

It’s long since I or anyone has been able to use the term “über-cool” without sounding like a total über-douche. I’m not sure I pull it off here either, but Berlin is without doubt “über-cool.”

I should point out at this point that the cities of the world are locked in constant battle to become my favourite city. The title is second only in prestige to hosting the Olympics, and Australia recently abandoned its bid for the 2018 FIFA World Cup so they could spend more money on sausages and bike paths to attract my favour.

Anyway, the point is that Berlin still holds the coveted title of my favourite city in the world. There are many reasons for this, therefore I am pleased to offer you yet another time-saving list. This one is my top reasons why Berlin is somehow greater than head-mounted toilet paper:

1. The list really needs only one entry, and here it is. They have TABLE TENNIS in night clubs! Why this hasn’t become a worldwide phenomenon I’ve no idea.

2. If that didn’t convince you to book flights straight away, there’s also some very impressive landmarks. Now most reputable travel blogs would show you real pictures of the landmarks. But this being a self-styled “travel” blog I’d rather present them in chocolate form.

Chocolate Reichstag

Chocolate Brandenburg Gate

3. Bars like Weinerei bar in East Berlin which offer a “pay whatever the hell you think it’s worth” system. Basically, you get a glass for 1 Euro and then drink and drink and drink from a selection of wines on a central table. At the end there is a huge jar where you drop whatever you think you owe. The fact that this system works anywhere at all restores my faith in the human race.

4. They’re not afraid to be creative with their less-proud landmarks of history. There are sections of the Berlin Wall left totally in tact which are worth a look too, but some have been opened up to street art. Less “über-cool” cities would not do this.

5. I was going to mention the table tennis again but I’ll finish on a serious note. I love the Jewish Memorial in Berlin. It’s been criticised by some, perhaps for being too ambiguous, but that’s what I really like about it. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you think it means, but you really should go there and have a wander through yourself.

I know it was hard to imagine, but hopefully you now agree that Berlin is better than head-mounted toilet paper.

Safe travels, thanks for reading. über-J