Happy Rant-astic Friday! Keep It Big And Dumb!

31 Aug

Every time I log on to Facebook I’m reminded of the futility of this “travel” blog, and indeed any written prose these days.

Here am I, presenting the world with at least my third* best material. Yet no one (not even people with meaningful things to say) seems to be able get any attention unless they condense their thoughts in to one sentence and write in on a “meme” or an “e-card”.

Whew! If you’ll excuse me I need to call an AM radio talk back program then go for my lie down.

*The best material I use in my secret gigs, the second best I send to the writers of Packed to the Rafters.




OK I’ve calmed down now, on to today’s topic. I was scared I wouldn’t have a topic for today’s post (not that its ever stopped me before, remember that nonsense about supermarkets?), but then I was perusing an Australian newspaper website when I happened upon this article.

‘Nine big, dumb travel experiences everyone should try’ is an article that is essentially promoting travel, therefore I am generally in favour of Ben’s aim here. I do have a few small issues to take though.

I’m not qualified to comment on all of the experiences he mentions, but one I definitely can comment on is having something stolen. Why does “everyone” have to have something stolen? While Ben asserts its an educational thing, I’ve never heard anyone say “man I’m glad I’m finally rid of that pesky passport.” Come to think of it I did have a quite a unique experience after having my camera stolen in St. Petersburg, but I’m pretty sure plenty of people have completed a lot of travels without going through that particular “learning experience”.

Another thing on the list I have not experienced but feel I can comment on in is “having dorm-room sex”. I can’t help but feel the logic is flawed here. Ben encourages everyone to “get even with the world” by makin’ some hostel dorm whoopee.

I feel bad for bringing Ghandi in to such a low-brow environment as this. But if “an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind”, then what will happen with the exponential breakout of vengeful hostel boot-knockin’? Think about it. If one couple is doing it in a six-bed dorm, by Ben’s logic that’s five other people who now have to “get even with the world”. And so it grows and grows.

Seriously though, it’s gross and annoying.

He also mentions Oktoberfest. I haven’t been there and I hear it is quite a bit of fun. But he also mentions “Oi, Oi, Oi” Australians. If and when I finally make it to Oktoberfest, I will certainly be taking up his suggestion of checking out one of the 13 other beer dens where the “Oi, Oi, Oi” crowd are not hanging out. I may be super-sensitive to it because I know they’re representing my beloved home, but honestly guys, it is unimaginative, annoying and embarrassing.

Finally, I was rather disappointed to see an entry on the list called “Do ‘the London thing'”. Well, I was at first anyway, since that meant I was taking part in a “big, dumb travel experience”. As you know from previous posts, I only take part in the most sophisticated and refined travel experiences. Also, being the alternative trendsetter I am, if I’d known it had become a “thing” to live in London I would have taken a job cattle-rearing in Mongolia.

Anyway, the fact is that at the core of the article, our friend Ben is giving people more reasons to travel. While I may not agree that “everyone” necessarily has to experience these things, it can only be a good thing to promote travel in whatever form people feel comfortable (or uncomfortable, as the case may be).

So that’s my rant done for now. As you know I’m back in London for the moment, so I will need to get a bit more creative with things to post about. Just between you and me though, I’ve got some pretty exciting stuff coming up. This may include, but is not limited to, a rigourous review of the pizza cutter fork and my honest and frank opinion of the original Total Recall. Until those heady days are upon us though, why not book yourself a big, dumb travel experience?


Safe travels, thanks for reading. J

2 Responses to “Happy Rant-astic Friday! Keep It Big And Dumb!”

  1. 001000110 August 31, 2012 at 10:10 am #

    I think about as much of Ben Groundwater as Bradley Wiggins thinks of journalists…
    Looks like Fairfax have just sacked a whole bunch of journalists, maybe we can get you a regular travel column?

    • J August 31, 2012 at 10:20 am #

      Now come on, surely you can’t feel quite as strongly as Mr. Wiggins. I would never append a gratuitous c-word to a description of Ben. I don’t think Fairfax would offer me a job as foreign janitor either. The internet is killing this business…

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