Don’t You (Forget About Breakfast)

As I said a while ago before I got sidetracked by those pesky French Alps, this post will be mostly to do with my breakfast. In the spirit of honesty, here is a website representation of how relevant this post will probably be for you, the reader.

But I guess if you happen to live in London, or will be visiting any time soon, this may be of some use to you if you enjoy a breakfast that is SO GOOD it makes you think “well, it’s all down hill for the rest of the day.” And I do. I’m not going to tell you the name of the place straight away, rather, what does this make you think of?

No, the place is not called ‘Simple Minds’ or even ‘Ill-fitting suit’ (though if you want to call your restaurant ‘Ill-fitting suit’ you’re welcome to it). It’s called ‘The Breakfast Club’, and when you get to the front of the queue to get in, it makes you go like this:

That’s right, you have to queue to get breakfast! You’re probably thinking “screw that, I’m going to maccas for a double sausage mcmuffin, you stupid hipster”. And no one would blame you. But if you can force your modern, “on-demand” mind to spend a short while braving a cold London morning, I guarantee you’ll change your tune faster than a teenager with an iPod (this is a serious gripe of mine, let the song finish for god’s sake! Can I get a HELL YEAH?)

Once you actually make it inside the building and do your Judd Nelson fist pump, the decor is striking. It’s hard to explain but I guess its a classier version of the “found this crap out the back and made it into a light fitting” style I mentioned to describe ruin bars in Budapest. It’s not unpleasant though, and frankly I don’t go out to breakfast for the decor. While I’m at it, I feel I should can mention that I’m not more likely to choose a place to eat because they serve their food on chopping boards, skateboards, wobble boards, or anything else that is a kitschy substitute for a plate. Plates work. Here’s some photographic evidence:

I can’t even pass this off as an ‘arty’ photo.

It may be difficult to make out, but this is a spectacular creation called the ‘Huevos Al Benny’, a very Spanish twist on regular eggs Benedict. Accompanying the usual poached eggs, English muffins and Hollandaise sauce are generous amounts of chorizo, peppers and guacamole. I’ve since been back to The Breakfast Club and had a more traditional cooked breakfast (plus a side of pancakes), but I can not go past Huevos for muchos el flavour.

If these sorts of things don’t take your fancy, the menu is extensive. Both times I’ve been I have found at least five things on the menu I’m torn between, and I haven’t been disappointed with my choices. Importantly, the coffee is good quality and well made, and the smoothies/juices provide a welcome hangover aid.

Even though it runs the risk of increasing the queue, and hence my waiting time, I should probably tell you where they are located. I must say that having visited two of their five locations (Spitalfields and Soho), they don’t feel like a chain. They still maintain personality and excellent quality in what they serve, and you can find them here.

Until next time, have a great morning.

 

Safe travels, thanks for reading. J

Hamburg 2: Judgement (of sausage) Day

Previously on BBS: I traveled to Hamburg and apparently spent most of the time writing things not about Hamburg. And now, the hopefully-more-relevant continuation (no promises):

With my Hamburger friend at work, the next day was a chance for me to explore on my own and confront my irrational fear of language barriers. Before we go on, in this context “Hamburger” means someone from Hamburg, though I must admit even I couldn’t help but imagine this:

The other hamburger friend

Hamburg’s public transport system is much like an unmanned farmer’s stall on a country lane. Honest people pay, but there’s little to stop you not paying. Unless you’re the unlucky one to be shot at from the porch for “helpin’ y’self  ta some corn bread”. I was honest, and after paying took a quick and efficient trip in to the city centre.

The city centre and shopping district is quite pleasant without being spectacular. There is a very impressive City Hall building, and imaginative tourists can spend a good few minutes wondering what this guy was pondering:

"Hmmm...I wonder why I have to rest my head on my arm when I've got the neck of a steroid abuser."

I must have questioned him for at least 10 minutes with no response. I spent the rest of the day either in Balzac Coffee or wandering around trying not to look like a tourist. Having come through Asia this was the first time in a while where I didn’t automatically look like a rube for every rose or crappy trinket salesman. To illustrate my point, I’m sure I did better than these people:

Surefire way to attract attention

Just seconds later, this unfortunate couple were mobbed by “tourist hunters”, and after a whirlwind of activity were left with nothing but a mini replica of City Hall and a St. Pauli football g-string for modesty. BBS top tourism tip: GPS on your iPhone will work with no internet connection if you load the map before you set off. Paper maps are the metaphorical equivalent of having “steal from me or sell me crap” tattooed on your forehead.

That evening I satisfied my main two objectives for the trip in the space of one well-chosen venue, the Groninger Privatbrauerei. To save my exhaustive description, here they are in telephotographic digital pictorials:

I asked for a side of sausage instead of salad but sadly they weren't having it

I was similarly transfixed when I saw the 10L table keg.

If there is a better reason to travel than these two things, I don’t want to know about it. The night (or possibly my friend) then took us to Hamburg’s famous Red Light District. Here you are certain to find authentic local bars, authentic local music, and authentic local venereal disease. Ever the cultural adventurer, I naturally had to experience two of these.

A few beers and quite a few songs later we found ourselves back on the train home. So ends the second installment in the Trilogy of Hamburgers. 

Oh and to make my flimsy movie-themed title make sense, at some point during the day I had a Krakauer sausage from one of the many fine outlets in the city. It was very tasty.

Safe travels as always, thanks for reading. J

COMING SOON TO BBS – H3: The Mighty Burgers (It’s getting hard to come up with different movie franchises)